Here are some basic philosophies about grief, its effects on people and the paths to recovering.
Overcoming the grief events in our life is a three phased process. Healing allows use to stabilize and keep from self destructing. Overcoming then makes it possible to move forward and begin to function again at some level. The process however is not complete until we can gain the victory. Victory over grief is when we reach a point that we can take that which tried to destroy us and turn it into our destiny.
A grief wound has many of the same effects as a physical wound. Grief can actually create physical, emotional and mental wounds that must be cared for in order to heal.
People grieve differently just as people hurt differently from physical wounds. There is no such thing as a “one size fits all” treatment for grief.
People recover differently from grief. While there are many aspects of grief recovery that are common to all, everyone needs their own “personal grief plan of care” in order to recover.
Many grieving people need a grief care giver to keep an eye on them. In the same manner as a nurse or doctor monitors a medical recovery someone other than the bereaved person needs to help them through their journey. This is the purpose of our Grief Partners.
Not everyone is ready for grief therapy at the same stage. Recovery depends upon many factors such as the person’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual makeup. Some wounds must be stabilized before any therapy treatment can begin.
Not everyone has the same “mourning time”. This is not to be confused with a grieving time. The way our society is structured we allow a few days for funeral arrangements and the burial and then everyone is supposed to resume life as normal. When we experience the death of someone close we get knocked off the tracks. Some people can bounce back quicker than others and get back to their normal schedule. Others take a longer to simply adjust to a different pattern of life. The grief however carries on regardless and still must be dealt with in order to gain the victory.
Children have their own special way of grieving. Since their lives are built around play they tend to push their grief aside and carry on with their fun. They may not constantly be consumed with their grief as adults usually do. However, when they are grieving their grief can be very intense. Children will sometimes try to conceal their grief. They may have trouble understanding the concept of death but they do understand loss and it can be even more devastating than with an adult.
Even a highly spiritual person can be devastated by the death of a loved one. Just because we know we will see a lost family member again doesn’t take away the pain and suffering that the grief brings. If you have a physical injury that creates pain it can hurt no matter how spiritual you are. A broken leg hurts everyone, but it can heal. An amputated leg not only hurts, it affects you the rest of your life regardless of your spiritual maturity.