Helping the Grieving

Helping the Grieving

Helping the Grieving … Yourself and Others

Many people sincerely want to help someone that is going through a grieving process. Sometimes the person needing the most help is themselves.  The problem that most people have is that they have never experienced that type of grief and they simply don’t know what to do or say.  I was the same way for many years.  Even as a Pastor I really had no idea how to help someone with a problem that I did not fully understand.  We will share with you what we have learned through both personal experience and intensive research.  These are things that have helped us and others to cope with our grief.

Suggestions For Helping Yourself

1.     You must realize that you have been severely injured just as if the injury were only physical in nature.

2.     Take time to “catch your breath”.  Even a severe injury requires stabilization before treatment can began.

3.     Find someone who can act as your grief car giver.  Our Grief Partners program can help you greatly with this if you need us.

4.     Don’t be afraid to let God know how you feel.  Jesus is a friend that is closer than any one else and He understands.  He won’t hold your thoughts and feelings against you.

5.     Read the Bible even if you don’t want to or you don’t seem to get anything out of what you are reading.

6.     Allow other people to do things for you.

7.     Allow yourself to cry as much as you want.

8.     Allow yourself to laugh when it happens.  Don’t feel guilty because you do.

9. Don’t ignore the object of your grief.  It may be a lost loved one, a devastating betrayal or a destroyed lifestyle.  Regardless of the source of grief find a way to talk about it and share your feelings with someone. 10. Don’t judge yourself because of thoughts or feelings that you might have. 11. Don’t compare yourself to others. 12. Take as much time off from work as you need but be careful that you don’t overdue it and pull away from everyone and everything. 13. Don’t make any major decisions right away.  At least wait until you have made it through the initial shock of what has happened. 14. Keep yourself healthy.  Eat right, exercise and get the right amount of sleep.  Not too much or too little. 15. Write your thoughts down in some sort of journal.  It’s a good way of letting out the grief and monitoring how you are progressing. 16. Read about or talk with others that have gone through similar circumstances. 17. Do something for someone else.  Clean their house.  Mow their lawn. Run errands for them.  It does wonders for your heart. 18. Don’t get discouraged when you have setbacks. Your feelings and emotions will come and go for a long time.

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